Thursday, September 18, 2008


(2008: whittier, ca. this was last week after blu and i presented "tips for new teachers" at the district . . . what with being "rising star" and all. yeah, humble, huh?)

new school year, new glasses, new darker hair . . .

Monday, September 15, 2008


on my veranda
slowly sipping hot, green tea
thinking of you, bliss



can someone please explain to me when fat-bashing became posh?

when did it become socially acceptable, even fashionable, to make fun of and/or generally be rude towards fat people?

i want to know.

i saw a personals ad the other day that read, "if you're a BBW (Big "Beautiful" Woman), do not message me. i cannot get into fat women, period."

ok, maybe that's not exactly "bashing", but let me put it another way . . .

what if the ad read, "if you're a jew, do not message me. i cannot get into jewish women, period."

or, "if you're an african-american, do not message me. i cannot get into black women, period."

do you ever see or hear anyone saying that?

no, of course you don't.

now, before all of you start saying, "but lana, blacks can't help being black, or jews can't help being jewish . . ." i just want to say that while there are some overweight people out there who CAN help being overweight, there are some who CAN'T.

i mean, if you put up an ad, and a fat person answers it, is it really so hard to say, "i'm flattered. thank you for your note, but no thank you."


i'm not saying people aren't allowed to have preferences, but i just feel that if you wouldn't say, "blacks need not apply," or, "jews need not apply," then why would you think that saying, "fat people need not apply" is ok?

if a large number of blacks or jews responded to your ad, would you post a similar statement on your ad, or would you just reply to each person individually and say, "gee, thanks, but no thanks"?

for the record, i don't think obesity, whatever the reason, is particularly attractive (and more importantly, heathly) either, but i would never dream of saying or writing something like that. never. and not the least of which is because i too struggle with weight. it's just not right.

some of you are going to call me an overly-sensitive, politically-correct, bleeding-heart, tree-hugging liberal . . .

i thank you.

i hope most of you, though, will simply join me in saying that, at best, saying something like that is tactless, and at worst, bigoted.


this sciatica thing REALLY blows.

i've resorted to taking a vicodin with my breakfast every morning, right alongside my vitamins, because the pain is so exquisite.

my family thinks i'm becoming dependent. my friends think i'm becoming dependent. even my yoga instructor thinks i'm becoming dependent.

gee, what gave it away, folks? that i'm starting to double-up the dosage to TWO 750mg pills at a time, instead of one?

i can't help it.

nothing i'm doing is working. not yoga, not weight lifting, not this ridiculously healthy eating regimen i've been keeping, not chiropractic medicine, not anything . . .

nothing, that is, except vicodin.

i mean, if i were one of those people who just likes sitting on their ass, that would be one story, but i am a workaholic, type-a, leadery, go-getter who's doing, doing, doing 24/7. rest isn't an option!


anyhow, i know there are people out there with much worse problems than ass pain, but fuck, this is a serious pain in the ass.

(and, no, mom, i can't possibly become addicted to vicodin . . . don't worry. after all, my prescription runs out this month . . .)

Saturday, September 13, 2008


with the first full week of the new 2008-2009 school year behind me, i finally have a moment to check in with the two, but totally awesome people who read this blog. y'all know who you are . . . i definitely do because I AM one of them.

(hi mom!)

but seriously: people, I LOVE MY NEW STUDENTS!!!

i have to admit i wasn't sure i would.

see, during the summer, when everyone received their teaching schedules and i found out for the first time i'd be teaching sophomores (15-16 year olds) and freshmen (13-15 year olds), as opposed to only freshmen, my colleagues (bless their black souls), took it upon themselves to put the fear of the lord jesus christ in me with their sophomore horror stories . . .

i heard it all, friends.

story after story after story . . . all of them boiling down to: unlike naive, little freshmen, sophomores KNOW the game, and unlike the upperclassmen (juniors and seniors), they don't know how to handle it.

sophomores, right? from the word "sophomoric" . . . the wise fools . . .


walking into my classroom for the first day of school, i was terrified.

not just were the sophomores going to eat me alive, but because there were twice as many of them in their class (40 to 1) than in the freshmen classes (20 to 1), they were going to DEVOUR me.

fortunately, though the class was much, MUCH bigger than i was used to, the students were incredibly eager, enthusiastic, creative, and not to mention, respectful.

i totally adore them.

they actually understand irony! they actually understand wit! they actually understand sarcasm! and they can dish it all back to me! it's fabulous and we're going to have an wonderful year together.

yes, they're a little loud, but fortunately i love a bit of chaos (shocker, huh?), especially when it's creative chaos and has to do with the literature at hand. plus, when i need to get their attention, they're really great about self-policing and getting back to lecture quickly.

so, yay for the sophomores!

though, this is ONLY the second full week of school . . .

gonna go knock on some wood now.