GIRL'SGOTLIGHTNINGUNDERNEATHHERSKIRT

(2008: the west siiiiiiide, ca. hem and vic celebrating vic's b-day last month!)

HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

umm, so first i try to celebrate your birth early and now late.

ah, fuck me.

WELL,HALF-WAYTHROUGHMYLIFEIFLIPPEDONINTERNALBITCH

my best friend, vic, is turning 26 on the 23rd of this month . . . i have no clue as to what to get her. here's our conversation from today (more or less):

me: yo, your b-day is coming up. whatchu want, girl?

vic: surprise me. i am in denial about turning 26.

i only want things i can't have, such is life.

how are you?

me: JESUS CHRIST, are you going to be 26? fucking ay, i thought you were turning like 22 or something.

i'm a'ight. you know, insane as ever. things will be calming down soon.

but seriously . . . dinner and whatnot are a given, but i want to give you something special and seeing that my virginity is gone . . .

LOOKINGFORTHELIGHTOFANEWLOVETOBRIGHTENUPTHENIGHT

sorry, back with mr. c, one more time, who was having some qualms about kissing an older . . . a much, MUCH older . . . woman in a new play in which he's acting . . .

and i got to thinking: fuck, y'all, i gotta say, i LOVE older men.

harrison ford is over 60 and i would make out with him in a nanosecond.

i would also make out with--ZEEEEEEERO qualms, ZEEEEEEERO hesitation--alec baldwin, 50 . . . sean connery, whose official age can only be measured with carbon-14 dating . . . tom selleck, 63 . . . daniel day lewis, 51 . . . sam elliott, george clooney, pierce brosnan, anthony hopkins, robert duvall, tommy lee jones, and denzel washington, to name a few.

it's just funny, i think, that for men, it's really all about aesthetics . . . in the beginning, at least.

i mean, ok, fine, the men i've listed above are a fairly good-looking bunch, but i've dated (and been willing to date were they not already taken at the time) some men who, by conventional standards, most women would find unattractive, or, even, downright repulsive.

no actors come to mind, except, perhaps, alan rickman . . . but, i always fall first and foremost in love with a man's brain.

vic will attest to this since she went to ucla with me and saw me fall in love (lust?) with several honestly heinous-looking professors. one professor i fell in love with at ucla--i took every class he ever offered--was described by many as a "troll, only more unfortunate-looking" . . .

i can't help it. nothing is sexier, more intriguing, more alluring, more fascinating to me than an intelligent, erudite, witty, kooky, clever man. (a "dominant" personality/demeanor is also important . . . or rather "desirable" to me, too, but that's a whole other ball of wax.)

(and no need to warn me . . . i know all about the pitfalls that come with such a man all too well . . .)

i would take a well-read, well-spoken, well-written "unattractive" man ANY day, over a "hottie" (young or old).

for me, almost exclusively, it's about the brain; everything else matters not.

maybe it's because i'm not very smart (and average-looking) that i long to be with a very intelligent/intellectual man over a man who's just handsome, but that's simply how i feel . . .

IKNOWMYLASTWISH:TONOTBEWISHING,TONOTHAVEBROKETHIS

HEARTBREAK. i knew i spoke too soon about being happy and shit (see post below)!

we lost to memphis by 15 . . .

sniff, sniff, sniff.

from the ucla sports message boards because i couldn't say it better myself: "Some days you're the windshield. Some days you're the bug! We just didn't have the players to match up well with theirs [Memphis]. They ran and we ran after them. I guess defense can get you to the Final Four, but it's offense that gets another banner. Ben Howland is a great coach who got the most out of what he had. Our shooters, with the exception of Russell Westbrook, took the game off. Simply stated, we're good but Memphis is better. It's too bad that Darren Collison had to finish his college career by fouling out. I think he was frustrated by continually getting beaten by a much better (and bigger/taller) player.

When does football season start????"

but at least we got to the final four, which is more than i can say for u$c. and any day that we can beat $c in sports somehow, is a great day.

let's give up the eight clap for a valiant effort:

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fight, fight, fight!

LONELYMIDNIGHTDRIVERSDRIFTINGOUTTOSEA

"3/30/2008, Bruin players James Keefe, Alfred Aboya, Kevin Love, Russell Westbrook, Darren Collison, Luc Richard Mbah a Moute, and Josh Shipp addressed the media following the Bruins' 76-57 victory over Xavier in the Elite Eight round of the NCAA tournament in Phoenix Saturday afternoon."

WE'RE OFF TO THE FINAL FOUR, BABY!!!

i think we stand a good chance of winning against memphis, but if we have to duke it out with north carolina, we're fucked.

STILL, LET'S DO THIS PEOPLE!!! bring on the eight clap . . .

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fight, fight, fight!

SUPERSONIC.THE'S'ISFORSUPER,THE'U'ISFORUNIQUE. . .

a brief shout-out to KABA MODERN from UCI who was straight-up off-the-hook tonight on "america's best dance crew"! y'all made me proud to be a part of the UC system.

you guys were amazing and inspirational . . .

IKISSTHECOLD,WHITEENVELOPE.IPRESSMYLIPSAGAINSTHERNAME

nothing puts a bigger pep in my step than having my college sports teams win something, except when those wins come AGAINST U$C!!! after getting our collective asses handed to us during the last, i don't know, decade, in football, this little victory really tastes great.

LET'S GO BRUINS!!!

for certain we'll be one of the four #1 seeds in the field of 64 . . . mmm, good times . . .

"3/15/2008, Darren Collison scored 28 points and No. 3 UCLA survived its fourth close call in a week, beating 11th-ranked Stanford 67-64 Saturday to win the Pac-10 tournament title. The Bruins (31-3) used a 22-8 run in the second half to earn their 10th victory in a row and add the title to their third consecutive regular-season crown."

"3/14/2008, Freshman Kevin Love scored 11 points in a 15-2 run to open the second half that propelled No. 3 UCLA to a 57-54 victory over Southern California in the Pac-10 tournament semifinals Friday night. Love had 19 points and 10 rebounds for his 20th double-double in the first postseason meeting between crosstown rivals who've played 225 other times. They split in the regular season. The Bruins (30-3) won their ninth in a row and advanced to Saturday's championship game, where they will play either second-seeded Stanford or third-seeded Washington State."

now, come on, join me in this here eight clap! you know you want to . . .

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fight, fight, fight!

IFYOUWALKWITHJESUS,HE'SGONNASAVEYOURSOUL.YOUGOTTAKEEPTHEDEVILWAYDOWNINTHEHOLE

hot from the bear's mouth:

"3/8/2008, Josh Shipp hit a rainbow jumper from behind the backboard with 1.5 seconds remaining to help No. 3 UCLA rally from an 11-point deficit and beat California 81-80 on Saturday. The Bruins' school-record 28th regular-season victory was in jeopardy until the very end. They trailed by four points with 31 seconds remaining, then freshman Kevin Love hit a 3-pointer off an inbounds pass from Darren Collison to make it 80-79."

so, apparently SOME of my prayers to whomever or whatever is "up there" are getting heard, which is great. see below . . . BUT, what about my other prayers, huh? like, my prayer to win the lottery . . . my prayer to wake up with ridiculously sculpted abs . . . to say nothing of my pleas for world peace . . .

guess my students aren't the only ones with selective hearing, eh?

anyway, GO BRUINS!!!

BRING ON THE EIGHT CLAP!!!

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WHOA,BLACKBETTY!BAM-A-LAM

i love people.

last week i was assigned to be a mentor for a student teacher from a local college and one of the very first questions she asked me was, "why do you love teaching?" actually, the very first question was, "DO YOU like teaching?"

frankly, i wasn't sure how to answer.

i mean, my gut answer, the immediate reply that came to mind, and also the truest, which i gave to her, was, "i LOVE teaching!"

but what did that MEAN? why? WHY do i love teaching?

to be clear, i DO love teaching. i just never really delineated the reasons (for myself or for others) with any real precision . . .

the rumor is that anyone who teaches does so because they can't do anything else with their life or simply wants a flexible schedule. well, where i am concerned, allow me to dispel both of those suppositions. perhaps they are true of some teachers, just not THIS one.

for the record, mama didn't raise no fool. i graduated from ucla with a BA in english literature. i had a 3.867 GPA in the major and would have had latin honors (summa cum laude), except that, due to some bureaucratic ineptitude on ucla's part, my application was rejected.

what is more, anyone who actually believes that teachers work a 40 hour week for 9 months and that's it is the real fool. i easily put in something closer to 70 hours or more every week and teach summer school. this is in addition to graduate education classes and certification . . .

as i think about it, i teach for many, many, many reasons. too numerous to name them all, but there are some worth mentioning/explaining:

i love learning.

i think that part of the reason i teach is that i have so much that i want to share . . . the reality is, though, that i learn more, i am sure, from my kids, than they learn from me. word.

my students never cease to amaze me with how much they already know. they are wondrous, those gangly, awkward teenagers.

i love reading.

it's true. i'm a self-professed book whore. what better profession for me than one in which i GET PAID to read? woo hoo! fact is, i should probably pay them!

wait.

let's not get carried away . . .

where was i? oh, yes, reading. i love it. i always have. this is, maybe, something innate, though it's more likely that it was cultivated in me by my wonderful mother, who may have lacked money for nice clothes or a proper car, but never for books. we were poor, to be sure, growing up, but no one would have ever guessed it from looking at our library.

i love writing.

omg, is there anything better? and not that i'm deluded or anything . . . i know i'm not a good writer, not by any stretch of the imagination, but i love it anyway. it's the whole creative process that turns me on. i have a portfolio (i use the term loosely) of poetry and other writings, as well as art . . .

(it's dawning on me that i talk about reading and writing in somewhat sexual terms . . . hmmm. remind me to discuss that later in it's own little post.)

i have "peter pan syndrome". if you can't tell that i'm just a giant kid, then you can't read very well and should probably . . . actually, definitely . . . have your eyes checked.

hurry. go now!

i don't take anything too seriously. least of all me.

and yeah, ok, fine, the schedule IS nice.

but the bottom line? people. i love people.

i am a people person. this is a career that affords me the privilege . . . the honor . . . of being a part of so many people's lives. wow. what a tremendous gift and responsibiity. i am both humbled and awed by the trust that parents put in their children's teachers, in me . . .

i love that i get to work with these remarkable creatures, human beings . . . and that sometimes i get to help, get to show them something new, get to learn something for the first time WITH them, get to listen, get to inspire, get to laugh, get to discuss, get to cry, get to create, get to challenge . . .

there are days, i won't lie, that i think i don't get paid enough, that i get upset that others don't value the work that i and others like me do . . . but they are few and far between . . . easily swept away by a kid who, as he runs out of my class, says, "that story was cool, ms. b. i learned a lot about . . ."

people. yeah. i love them.

SOMEPEOPLECALLMETHEGANGSTEROFLOVE

straight off the bruin presses:

"2/7/08, Collison Leads Second Half Resurgence, Bruins Top Cougars: Darren Collison scored all of his 18 points in the decisive second half and freshman Kevin Love added 16 points and nine rebounds to lead No. 5 UCLA to a rugged 67-59 victory over reeling No. 17 Washington State on Thursday night."

apparently, i'm wrong.

apparently, there IS a god.

a basketball god . . . but still . . .

gotta give up the eight-clap:

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fight, fight, fight!

LIKECLEOPATRA,JOANOFARC,ORAPHRODITE

(2008: los angeles, ca. vic and hem at chez victoria for the housewarming.)


(2008: los angeles, ca. vic talking . . . yada, yada, yada. gee, you don't say?)


(2008: los angeles, ca. clearly vic's laughing at MY jokes. see, i'm very witty and funny, did you know?)


(2008: los angeles, ca. wait. what? i'm NOT funny OR witty, i just have something stuck in my teeth? don't just laugh, you ass! is it gone? *suck, suck, suck, swish* how 'bout now?)


(2008: los angeles, ca. vic is quite the literati . . . let's see what's on her shelf now: villete by charlotte bronte; alice's adventures in wonderland and through the looking-glass by lewis carroll; nip the buds, shoot the kids by kenzaburo oe; love in the time of cholera by gabriel garcia marquez. wait, "shoot the kids"? glad I'M the high school teacher. else, i hope that book's not what i think it's about . . .)


(2008: los angeles, ca. ribbit, ribbit. umm, am i the only one slightly turned on by these frogs? did i just say that outloud?)


(2008: los angeles, ca. above: crepes suzette (i sliced all of those oranges myself, thank you very much). you would not believe the incredible spread that vicky put on. few people are as gracious or generous. she HANDMADE EVERYTHING FROM SCRATCH. two kinds of crepes (handmade!), THREE different kinds of tarts (from scratch!), parmesan tomatoes (i helped grate the cheese), couscous, apple salad (yep, that was me julienning), asian mandarin salad, and lots of goodies in between, including brie, french bread, pate, olive tapenade . . . company, food, and wine were all tremendous. little else in life is more satisfying to the soul than good friends and good food. thank you, vicky!)


(2008: los angeles, ca. (cutie-patutie. he's three and fabulous. i wanted to put him in my purse and take him home.) "what's in this, you say? chocolate and hazelnuts?")


(2008: los angeles, ca. THIS is how to PROPERLY enjoy a crepe.)


(2008: los angeles, ca. don't ignore me! (latoya, then vicky, then hem.) hey, hem, what are you looking at?)


(2008: los angeles, ca. oh, HIM! is he rolling that ball or is that ball rolling him?)


(2008: los angeles, ca. "i'm sorry, we're you saying something to me?")


(2008: los angeles, ca. clearly no-one enjoyed the food. but seriously . . . yum, yum!)


(2008: los angeles, ca. at around 9pm, with the tike gone, it was time to kick off our shoes. this is MY shoe. nice, huh? i wear a size 13. i'm a sasquatch. a sasquatch in really hot, sexy, expensive stilletos. cinderella ain't got nuthin' on me, baby! but i digress . . .)


(2008: los angeles, ca. with the shoes off, it was time to open up the rest of the wine . . .)


(2008: los angeles, ca. don't act so surprised, hem, you knew this was coming all along! really now.)


(2008: los angeles, ca. the next few hours, i regret, i am unable to post photos. so in lieu of those censored images, here's an orange gerbera daisy from the table's centerpiece.)


(2008: los angeles, ca. lemme see . . . nope. sorry, still censored. here's a blue daisy . . .)


(2008: los angeles, ca. and we're back. boy, am i glad i don't have to be the one to clean up that mess! thanks again, baby, for everything. congrats on your new place!)

ANDWEDANCEDLIKEAWAVEONTHEOCEAN

(2007: los angeles, ca. hem and victoria.)

making the fray bearable: tweedle dee and tweedle dum. seriously, though, victoria, my wyf (ah, chaucer!), is genuinely great people. she and i met at ucla during the first year of my second round. and hem . . . he was our shakespeare ta. our AWESOME shakespeare ta.

vicky, she's certifiably witty, irreverent, kind, generous, patient, forgiving, and just fucky enough to keep things interesting. besides, she's the only person who'll have an entire conversation with me completely in middle english (she's still at ucla trying to get a phd in some totally insane little niche of the literary world).

at any rate, she just got her first apartment. it's very, very posh--just like her.

congratulations on the new pad, baby! happy housewarming (this coming saturday). el-o vino here we come-o!

ANOTHERONEBITESTHEDUST

nothing good ever comes of being a ucla fan. trust me. if i learned anything at all during my time there it's that all you're bound to get in return, IF ANYTHING, from giving ucla sports your love, loyalty, and well, cash is heart break.

i mean, i can't even look at a football anymore without crying.

i'm a day late with this, but it's been a bit of a looney weekend. anyhow, i take my good news whenever and however i can get it. so, without further ado . . . yesterday our basketball team gave bruin nation something to smile about again: "No. 5 UCLA Upends No. 4 WSU to Extend Win Streak".

even from the most jaded bruin fan, THAT deserves an eight-clap:

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fight, fight, fight!