Saturday, July 5, 2008

SKINMEAPEACH,SAVETHEFUZZFORMYPILLOW


alright, FINE, i'm pulling my thumb out of my ass and writing a new post because it looks like cassy might replace my thumb with her foot if i don't!

plus, truth be told, i am tired of looking at those giant tits from my last post.

now, i am not saying this will be a great post, or even a good post. in fact, it is quite shaping up to be the most mediocre post that ever was . . .

see, here's the problem: like my dear, dear mr. c, i too have run out of things to say.

yes, that's right, I AM OUT OF FUCKING THINGS TO SAY!!!

I AM VERKLEMPT!

and i'm tired. it's true, i confess. i've run out of steam.

i should have taken this summer off, but instead i'm piloting a reading program (Read 180) with my colleague blu AND will be chaperoning journalism camp with her the first week of august. THEN, there was all that shit i had to do at loyola . . .

stick a fork in me, already!

(wow, what a damn whinger i am!)

seriously, though, to compound the problem, i'm sort of having writer's block too (and maybe a quarter-life crisis, but that's another post altogether!). and then i go on to cassy's blog, seeking inspiration, and she's this tour de force, this force of nature, and i'm left speechless and in awe and (if you haven't read her blog yet, GO NOW! yes, NOW!!! go on! you'll love it. trust me. she's positively brilliant) . . .

same goes for all of the other blogs on my blog list.

(sigh . . .)

my synapses are dead.

or on vacation.

mmm . . . vacation . . .


ANYHOW, i feel a bit like a character on mike meyers' skit "coffee talk with linda richman" on saturday night live. i feel like i need someone to give me a topic (or a transfusion? an infusion? oh, please stop the confusion!).

and if you never saw the show, here's an explanation from wiki:

Whenever Linda would get upset, she would put her hand on her chest and say "I'm all verklempt" or "I'm a little verklempt". Then she would say, "Talk amongst yourselves," sometimes waving her hand in a dismissive gesture toward the audience. She would often follow this with an example, by saying, "I'll give you a topic." The topic would usually follow the format: "[Two- or three-part phrase] is neither [first part] nor [second part] (nor [occasional third part]). Discuss."

Examples:

"The radical reconstruction of the South after the Civil War was neither radical nor a reconstruction. Discuss."

"The Holy Roman Empire was neither holy nor Roman nor an empire. Discuss." (This quote is based on a famous comment by Voltaire.)

"The peanut is neither a pea nor a nut. Discuss."

"Ralph Fiennes is spelled neither rafe nor fines. Discuss."

"Duran Duran is neither a Duran nor a Duran. Discuss."

"Rhode Island is neither a road nor is it an island. Discuss."

"The Thighmaster is neither a thigh nor a master. Discuss."

"The Progressive Era was neither progressive nor an era. Discuss."

"Did Truman drop the bomb on the Japanese to end the war or to scare the hell out of the Russians? Discuss."

"The Mormon Tabernacle Choir is neither Mormon nor a tabernacle nor a choir. Discuss."

She would then recover after a beat.

HELP ME RECOVER . . .

8 comments:

Cassy said...

Whew! Glad you're back! I am having the same problem - writer's block. Like, what is there to say that hasn't been said? I'm bored or boring or something.

Anyway, glad to see you again, you made me SMILE from ear to ear, you did.

Francis Stanley Pruett said...

Lana, truth from your beautiful heart trumps your students' inspirationally lackluster approach to self-edification. Thi8s is why you read other people's blogs.

Keep bringing them to you and keep reading Marcie and I. I will be traveling soon. I may be visiting certain readers...

I guess lo que quiero decir es "Visítame!"

Writer's block is really just reader's block preventing you from being real, chola. Stop that!

Mr C said...

A wise man once said that writer's block doesn't exist - or was it my brother - i think it may have been my brother so scratch the wise bit. He has a point. So i am not suffering from writer's block - I am merely waiting for the right thing to write. look forward to reading your next piece of right writing.

David Williamson said...

Mr C never runs out of things to write. He just goes into mysterious mode.

The Wandering Gentile said...

Lana, you are not out of things to say. You just have not chosen a target for a barbed, acerbic, and splendidly timed voice.

The ability to write humor is a gift. Humor is the most challenging task for the creative, owing to the need for timing and delicacy, skills you have in spades.

The challenge ahead will be to question yourself, and challenge yourself to improve. Look at the elements which connect and hone them; find your weaknesses and reinforce them. Teacher, teach thyself.

Greatness is possible. We're on your side out here in ciberlandia.

Gil

Mr C said...

Dave! now we're at the stage where we have to meet up on other people's blogs?

Lana Banana said...

WELL, at least SOME people are able to use this blog . . .

and actually, david, mr. c is ALWAYS mysterious . . . that's how he keeps me going back to his blog.

Mr C said...

mysterious... hmmm... an extremely short canadian girl with long red hair once described me, when in mysterious mode, as a "sulky poet" I liked that, it gave me a big ego head. The fact that I am telling you this shows that I still have the ego head from it despite the fact that I've come to recognise the extreme pretention associated with the term.

While I imagine it conjuring up images of dark creative brooding in solitary corners of european coffee shops, others just see it as someone suffering from teenage angst cause they have nothing better to do.

Is there a medical term for the state in which one finds it easier to write blog entries in blogs other than one's own?