Saturday, October 4, 2008
my dad died 20 years ago today.
i can't believe it.
two decades have passed since i last heard his deep, rich laugh,
since i last cradled myself in his arms with his large, rough, loving hands,
since i last smelled his clean, fresh scent, as he left to go to work,
since i last saw him tango gracefully across the kitchen floor with my mother,
since i last sat across from him at the dinner table, while he asked about all of our days' toils and triumphs.
twenty years of missed memories . . .
he never saw me
attend my first camp,
move from brownie to girl scout,
play the flute, or the cello,
celebrate my quinceanera,
date my first boyfriend,
earn my black belt,
graduate high school, or college, or grad school,
buy my first car,
change my own flat tires (he'd have been proud),
get my first apartment,
or become a professional.
and he'll never see me
walk down the aisle,
buy my first house,
have my first child, or second, and, possibly, my third.
. . .
but where god takes away, he also gives back.
today is not only the 20th anniversary of my father's death, but also my niece's birthday.
happy birthday, jennifer leigh! i love you.
. . .
i love you both.