Thursday, August 21, 2008
ASAILBOATINTHEMOONLIGHTANDYOU. . .
because i'm never going to get married, i make fake wedding registries, complete with fake grooms (george clooney, brad pitt, james mcavoy, and elvis presley, even though he's dead, are perennial favorites) and fake wedding dates (i alternate between winter and summer. i can't ever decide).
and not just any old fake registries, i make them at all the best places . . . you know, just for shits and giggles.
well, last week, i got a letter from one of the companies at the top of my list: williams-sonoma . . .
"Dear Lana Banana:
Thank you for registering with Williams-Sonoma, and making us a part of your home.
As a special gift, we invite you to receive a 10% discount on the purchase of any items remaining on your registry--as well as any items you choose to add. This offer applies to unlimited in-store and telephone purchases you make for six months after your event date, as well as any one-time online purchases for a year after your event.
Please use the enclosed Completion Discount Card to receive your discount at any Williams-Sonoma store.
Blah, blah, blah . . .
Congratulations, and we look forward to serving you again soon!
Wedding & Gift Registry"
so, for years i've put off buying all-clad's 3QT fondue pot with ceramic insert . . . but today, i marched into williams-sonoma with my 10% discount card and bought not one but TWO pots (i have a big family and lots of friends who like cheese)!!!
gruyere heaven here i come!
and when the sales girl asked me how my july 20, 2008, wedding went, i told her that the groom stood me up at the altar and that that's why i had no ring and then i sort of fake cried . . .
ah, good times.