GROWINGUPLEADSTOGROWINGOLDANDTHENTODYING

i love setting goals.

in fact, i set them all the time. usually, i like to keep a big, fat stack of them around in case of an emergency or if someone needs to borrow a couple.

some of my goals i'm actually working on, like:
-"continue furthering my education" (phd; clear teaching credential; national certification; BCLAD; JEA)
-"get back into my high school cheerleading outfit" (45 min. each of cardio and weights 5 day/week; eating 1200 calories a day; seriously limiting carbs)
-"stop biting my nails" (manicures; mittens . . . no, no mittens, but the manicures HAVE been very helpful and now my nails look amazing)

some of my goals i'm working on, but not as hard as i should. for example:
-"get back into my high school cheerleading outfit" (45 min. each of cardio and weights 5 day/week; eating 1200 calories a day; seriously limiting carbs)
-"get and stay super organized" (maintain my calendar; do work in advance)
-"call people back" (i'm fucking notorious. and in my defense, it's not that i don't care. really, it's a psychological issue i won't get into. ok, basically it's that i like to hermit myself)

some of my goals receive a shocking lack of attention altogether:
-"get back into my high school cheerleading outfit" (45 min. each of cardio and weights 5 day/week; eating 1200 calories a day; seriously limiting carbs)
-"save more money" (self-explanatory. though, friends, i have ZERO credit debt! but don't even ask me about my student loans . . . sweet jesus, grad school's been expensive)
-"read more classics" (really hard to do when people keep putting out such great bullshit books, like that damned david sedaris! yeah, thanks a lot vic . . . and stupid jk rowling, who sucked up like half my life with that bloody harry potter. uh huh, i'll admit it, i'm a children's books whore)

and then there are the pipe-dream goals:
-"join the peace corps . . . for life"
-"learn to speak russian"
-"marry george clooney"

well, no doubt that i'm not alone in this . . . and watching the olympics, of course, i came up with ANOTHER goal.

this goal, i know, EVERYONE will say belongs in the last category.

BUT, i don't know? maybe not. i mean, MOST LIKELY it will end-up in the last category, but i'm really excited about it and when i get REALLY excited about something i typically get results . . . and even if (in all likelihood) i don't reach this goal, in the process, i think, only great things can come of it . . .

so, without further ado, here's my newest goal:

(trumpets blowing)

-"become an olympic weight lifter in the roughly 140-165 lb. range"

ok, go ahead, laugh.

no, by all means, do it. chuckle away.

done yet?

no?

that's ok, get it all out.

back now?

good.

I KNOW it sounds UBER crazy. i know.

and no, i don't just want to do it so that i can say, "i have the world's best snatch."

here's the thing: in my best physical shape, which was around 150 lbs. (a decade ago) and more slim than bodybuilderish, i could squat 425 lbs. . . . so, can you imagine what i might be able to do at 165 lbs. of muscle?

i mean, i'm a big girl, this could work. i have some serious bone structure. large feet (FEMININE, but large), large hands (paws, actually, but also FEMININE), large bones. and while not naturally super athletic (though freakishly flexible), i am naturally muscular.

ok and yes, at 5'8", i'm much taller than most olympic weight lifters in the weight range i want, but it might REALLY work.

at any rate, even if i never make it to the big show in london in 2012, i'd at least get into amazing shape, right?

oh, alright, you can laugh . . . again.