Thursday, August 14, 2008
TONIGHT'STHENIGHT,IT'SGONNABEALRIGHT. . .
athletes like to fuck.
but OLYMPIC athletes like to fuck A LOT.
i know, I KNOW . . . i just shattered your world with that bit of revelation, right?
yeah, me neither.
see, i read an article today that the chinese ordered 100K condoms for 10,500 athletes.
seriously, i don't get what the big deal is. i mean, i'm having a hard time believing that a story got written about this . . .
that comes down to roughly 9.5 condoms per person. (for the record: hope i'm never on the receiving end of that half condom . . . i'm just saying . . .)
big fucking whoop. TEN CONDOMS PER PERSON?
how long are the olympics? anywhere from 10 to 20 days or something like that?
people, that's ONLY enough condoms for MAYBE a once-daily shag!!!
well, UNLESS . . .
nah, i won't say it. as it is, my mouth has kept me from finding a suitable life partner for the past 30 years. buuuuut, i know you know what i was about to say, you dirty bastards.
anyhow, the way i understand it, SOME PEOPLE out there think that 10 condoms per person for a 10-20 day period is a lot. "they", i am guessing, are married, old, and republican.
whatever . . .
here are my favorite snippets from the article on fox sports (you can thank me later for saving you from having to read the entire thing):
-"Sex may not be an Olympic sport, but that won't stop athletes of all disciplines from going for the gold."
-"Love is in the air throughout the Olympic Village, from archers who have more than one bull's eye in their sights to equestrian riders who have been known to go sans saddle."
-"According to AskMen.com, "Scientific studies have found that having sex actually increases testosterone levels." In other words, sex can be like a power bar."
-"Sexual intercourse, according to scientific research, can expend up to 50 calories — if done with appropriate levels of vigor and enthusiasm. Michael Phelps, who is on a 10,000-calorie-a-day diet, would have to practice a lot more than the breaststroke to burn off that many calories away from the pool."