Thursday, January 7, 2010


(some chick who, allegedly, lost a bunch of weight eating tacos at taco bell. riiiiiiight. and i'm fat 'cause i DON'T eat tacos at taco bell. yeah, that's it.)

so, i live in bullshit town, usa. also known as: los angeles. having lived here since i emigrated to the united states with my family in 1984, i've become pretty adept at spotting the bullshit.

most recently, i caught this on my radar:

yes, y'all, you read that right. it's the TACO BELL DRIVE-THRU DIET!

holy shit. are you fucking kidding me?

you mean i've been eating spinach and 3oz. portions of fish all this time when i could've been at the taco bell drive-thru?

wait 'til santa hears about this! he's been trying to lose his gut to no avail for years. surely this will work, right? i mean, it says so right in the commercial!

"7 items under 9 grams of fat!"

wow, really? one item for each day of the week! plus, ONLY 9 OR SO GRAMS OF FAT FOR A SINGLE ITEM!

not to mention . . . it's FAST! it's CHEAP! it's EASY! and, gasp, it's TASTY!

so what if nutritionists recommend eating less that 30 grams of fat or less per day for weight loss? go ahead, snarf down three, small, pathetic tacos a day 'cause they're only 9 grams of less of fat each! so what if you'll still feel hungry afterwards and won't be learning any healthy eating habits?

it's fast! it's cheap! it's easy! and, it's "tasty"!

maybe the tooth fairy and the easter bunny will want to join santa and i for dinner . . .


De Campo said...

I’m also a huge fan of that Taco Bell commercial that shows nothing but gorgeous women working behind the counter. You know the one where the guy suggests to a beautiful cashier that he would like the other beautiful cashier to help him. \

Yeah, I’m stuck with recovering meth addict drop outs at my local Taco Bell. Do you have any idea how that will affect my diet???

Pearl said...

Holy shit is right!

In that light, a tub of Cook Whip is dietetic, too!

Of course, you can one, and that's all, for the week...


Lana Banana said...

so, is that why I AM NEVER asked to be on taco bell commercials, mr. de campo, sir?

(cries quietly, while rocking back and forth in a dark corner . . .)

i wish meth addicts were at all of my favorite food places, i'd be so thin and hot.

pearl: cool whip ISN'T dietetic? fuck, no wonder i can't lose any weight . . .