Sunday, January 17, 2010
the bitches' cooking club met last night.
yes, i agree, i probably shouldn't be part of a group that meets expressly for the purposes of getting drunk and stuffing their collective face.
but it's only once a month, so i think i'm safe.
(uh huh, this is what addicts tell themselves, too. i know)
anyhow, it was delicious, loud, rude and funny.
fifteen women and more university degrees than you can shake a stick at, but no outside observer would ever have guessed we're a supremely gifted group given the topics we covered:
1) why bacon makes everything better. possibly even sex. (maybe THAT'S my problem. i clearly don't eat enough pork.)
2) how robert redford is still worth fucking, even though the skin on his face looks like shoe leather.
3) a lengthy discussion on heidi montag's new plastic surgery . . . the consensus was that plastic surgery is cool if A) you do it for YOURSELF and B) you're aware it won't make up for your lack of active synapses . . . no matter how big the implants.
4) 80s movies really are THE BEST.
5a) REEEEEEEAAAAAAALLLLLLLY nice furniture makes up for not having a steady, solid, solvent, sane, sensitive, secure, sweet boyfriend ANY DAY.
5b) we all wish we liked pussy as much as cock because then we could be lesbians and generally avoid dealing with the opposite sex.
and last, but not least, we need a new name.
"cooking club chicks", we all agreed, sucks.
so, if you have any suggestions, we'd love to hear 'em.